To my dear husband to be,
When you found me, I was on a journey of restoration. I was on a path of healing, partially battered & broken, but somehow, you still saw beauty in me. A beauty I struggled to see in myself. You taught me rather quickly that beauty could come from brokenness. You saw beauty in the most battered & bruised parts of me, the parts of me that other men had thrown away.
Even when I felt as if I was broken beyond repair, you kissed all the parts that I hated about myself the most & reassured me of that those were the areas that made my soul pure. I had numerous wounds, some that I inflicted upon myself, & some that were inflicted by others; but every day, you patiently tended to the brokenness that you never caused. You wiped tears that you did not trigger. You dressed my open wounds with tender loving care & calmness. And you did so willing & without any complaints. You did it without me having to ask. You love me in a way that I’ve always wanted the love. You captured me that was gentle in its approach, submissive yet masculine.
To be completely honest, after one failed abusive marriage, and several failed attempts at other abusive relationships, I began to wonder if love was for me.
There were many nights that I prayed for this kind of love & other nights I cried with thoughts that I would never experience it.
But I believe in miracles, and I was blessed with the opportunity to know love & to once more love again; and this time, I was also afforded with the opportunity to be loved in return.
You unknowingly encouraged me to forfeit my misguided & misconstrued idea of love & you introduced me to the love that is carefully documented in scripture. The kind of love & sound doctrine recorded in the 13th chapter of 1st Corinthians. You have consistently walked according to those verses demonstrating to me every day that love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy nor boast. It is not arrogant or rude & keeps no record of wrongdoings.
I’m far from perfect, yet you love me perfectly in spite all of my imperfections. You love me in spite of myself. You love me without reservations, hesitations, & without reason. You provide for me & our family even when I have the means to make provision for & by myself. You lead me without force so I’m naturally subdued to your dominance. Your ability to lead with love innately awakened the submissive nature in me as a woman.
You brought genuineness to the smile that I forced for years. You taught me that I could find happiness in another person, but it could also be created within myself.
You listen intently with a heart of understanding & without judgment. You decipher my silence & tune in to the words my lips don’t speak. You observe my gestures, my thought patterns, my behaviors & adjust yourself according to my needs & desires.
You have witnessed me at my weakest moments & still saw strength. You provide me with a shelter & security when the storms of life rage. Your arms are a refuge when I need a place to hide because I feel the safest when I’m with you.
There’s a level of comfort with you that I’ve been unable to attain with anyone else. There’s a freedom & full liberation accompanied by peace that I have with you.
I know that there are times that I’m not the easiest to love or the greatest at compromising. I know that initially I was closed off & guarded, but you have taught me how to be transparent. You have navigated your way through my guarded walls & broken past guards just to penetrate my heart. Those efforts to make sure I’m happy will never go unnoticed or unappreciated. You’ve unlocked a level in me that opens doors for you that are inaccessible to those around me, perhaps even those who feel they know me best. When I’m around you I inhale you, breathe you, & take you in & i realize how much i appreciate your existence.
Before now, I never had a reason to thank my ex. However, just because of you, I’m appreciative of the pain that was inflicted upon me. I would go through it all again if it would lead me to you.
Your love is immeasurable. Your support is immense. You’re the love of my life…No matter how many options i have, i choose you. I will keep choosing you. I will always choose you. You’ve grasped a part of me that i had no idea i possessed. You’ve tapped into the deepest love i own within the innermost part of me & unlocked a fountain of love that can only be given to you.
Even when I’m shut off to the rest of the world, you have unrestricted access. I’m yours, every part of me & everything i am is yours. You’re my strength on days i feel weak, my sunshine to counteract my rain.
I love you with every fiber of my being. I love you with everything I am & everything I ever hope to be.
Love always & forever,
Your future wife 💋
Update: we’re married as of August 28, 2021